Thursday, January 14, 2016

Event Guide: Handling Difficult Bridesmaids (and Groomsmen)

You love, love, love, being an event planner. From the flowers, to the taste of the cake, to the exchanging of the vows—there’s nothing better. Well, except for Cranky Candy, Diva Daniella, Whiner Wendy, and Too-Perfect Patty. You know, the bridal party?

As an event planner, you not only deal with the bride’s and groom’s emotions, you also have the bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s emotions to constantly consider. Ugh! Can you handle anymore?

Although we can’t be there in person to help you handle this “difficult-to-manage” bridal party, we do have some tips that might help.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #1- The Drama Queen/King

Forget about it being the bride’s and groom’s special day, it’s all about the Drama Queen/King. This person is out to steal the show, the thunder, the spirit stick, whatever you want to call the special moment. And there are a couple of reasons why they choose to act like this:
  • If they are unmarried, they’re most likely jealous
  • They envy the attention others are getting
  • They’re feeling sad about “losing” a friend, sister, brother, etc.
You can handle the Drama Queen/King bridesmaid and groomsman by pulling them aside and having a heart-to-heart with her/him. You can ask what’s going on or how they’re feeling. By calling into question their feelings, there’s more of a chance they’ll recognize and correct their actions.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #2- The Everyone’s a Critic

Not to sound too judgmental, but this bridesmaid/groomsman might just be the toughest to deal with. They’re full of opinions, “advice” and plenty of critique. It can be disheartening for your clients to constantly have their ideas and dreams bashed by somebody else. And this type of bridesmaid/groomsman isn’t just trying to be critical, they might be doing it for these reasons:
  • They regret the details they’ve decided for their own wedding
  • They can’t accept that their moment is over
During moments like this, your clients will be glad you’re there. As the event planner, if the critic offers advice you and your clients don’t agree with, politely thank them for the help, but don’t waver from your final decision. Or, you can always have your clients give the critic complements of their wedding, but have them insist this is what they would like for their big day. If worst comes to worst, you can always choose to ignore the critic. People tend to give up complaining or criticizing if it’s not being listened to.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #3- The Complainer

Let’s just say, having a bridesmaid/groomsman that agrees with every decision but then complains the entire time is tiresome. Every step you make, or any task you ask them to do is a chore. And even more so, it’s hard on your bride and groom to constantly have someone dragging their feet along in the party. This person is probably doing it for one reason:
  • Sad they’re “losing” you as a friend, sister, brother, etc.
It’s hard for them to agree and to go along with activities when they’re feeling sad. Unfortunately, there’s no magical line that will make the person feel better about the situation. But your clients could have a one-on-one meeting with the upset bridesmaid/groomsman to ask them how they can help them make feel better. It’s all about being open to communicate, willing to hear how the other person feels, and being there to offer comfort and encouragement.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #4- The Have-to-be-Here

They might be their third cousins, twice removed, or best friend of your Uncle Tom, but your clients felt like they had to invite them to be a part of the wedding party. Be it pressure from extended family or friends, your clients should never feel like they have to include someone. Because in the end, a person knows when they’re asked out of obligation, and it will make for a very disinterested bridesmaid/groomsman.

When it comes to situations like this, your clients have to be the ones to decide whether not inviting a person to be in the bridal party will cause too much of a rift or divide in the family. 

For more event tips, keep up with Inspherio. We’ll be here to always offer you advice on everything from flower arrangements to handling the bridal party. And if you haven’t already done so, sign up for a free 30-day trial of Inspherio. It’s the business management solution tailored just for event professionals, like you.  

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