Event Guide: Handling Difficult Bridesmaids (and Groomsmen)

You love, love, love, being an event planner. From the flowers, to the taste of the cake, to the exchanging of the vows—there’s nothing better. Well, except for Cranky Candy, Diva Daniella, Whiner Wendy, and Too-Perfect Patty. You know, the bridal party?

As an event planner, you not only deal with the bride’s and groom’s emotions, you also have the bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s emotions to constantly consider. Ugh! Can you handle anymore?

Although we can’t be there in person to help you handle this “difficult-to-manage” bridal party, we do have some tips that might help.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #1- The Drama Queen/King

Forget about it being the bride’s and groom’s special day, it’s all about the Drama Queen/King. This person is out to steal the show, the thunder, the spirit stick, whatever you want to call the special moment. And there are a couple of reasons why they choose to act like this:

• If they are unmarried, they’re most likely jealous
• They envy the attention others are getting
• They’re feeling sad about “losing” a friend, sister, brother, etc.

You can handle the Drama Queen/King bridesmaid and groomsman by pulling them aside and having a heart-to-heart with her/him. You can ask what’s going on or how they’re feeling. By calling into question their feelings, there’s more of a chance they’ll recognize and correct their actions.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #2- The Everyone’s a Critic

Not to sound too judgmental, but this bridesmaid/groomsman might just be the toughest to deal with. They’re full of opinions, “advice” and plenty of critique. It can be disheartening for your clients to constantly have their ideas and dreams bashed by somebody else. And this type of bridesmaid/groomsman isn’t just trying to be critical, they might be doing it for these reasons:

• They regret the details they’ve decided for their own wedding
• They can’t accept that their moment is over

During moments like this, your clients will be glad you’re there. As the event planner, if the critic offers advice you and your clients don’t agree with, politely thank them for the help, but don’t waver from your final decision. Or, you can always have your clients give the critic complements of their wedding, but have them insist this is what they would like for their big day. If worst comes to worst, you can always choose to ignore the critic. People tend to give up complaining or criticizing if it’s not being listened to.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #3- The Complainer

Let’s just say, having a bridesmaid/groomsman that agrees with every decision but then complains the entire time is tiresome. Every step you make, or any task you ask them to do is a chore. And even more so, it’s hard on your bride and groom to constantly have someone dragging their feet along in the party. This person is probably doing it for one reason:

• Sad they’re “losing” you as a friend, sister, brother, etc.

It’s hard for them to agree and to go along with activities when they’re feeling sad. Unfortunately, there’s no magical line that will make the person feel better about the situation. But your clients could have a one-on-one meeting with the upset bridesmaid/groomsman to ask them how they can help them make feel better. It’s all about being open to communicate, willing to hear how the other person feels, and being there to offer comfort and encouragement.

Bridesmaid (and groomsman) #4- The Have-to-be-Here

They might be their third cousins, twice removed, or best friend of your Uncle Tom, but your clients felt like they had to invite them to be a part of the wedding party. Be it pressure from extended family or friends, your clients should never feel like they have to include someone. Because in the end, a person knows when they’re asked out of obligation, and it will make for a very disinterested bridesmaid/groomsman.

When it comes to situations like this, your clients have to be the ones to decide whether not inviting a person to be in the bridal party will cause too much of a rift or divide in the family. 

For more event tips, keep up with Inspherio. We’ll be here to always offer you advice on everything from flower arrangements to handling the bridal party. And if you haven’t already done so, sign up for a free 30-day trial of Inspherio. It’s the business management solution tailored just for event professionals, like you.  

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Survival 101: 5 Tips for Planning a Successful Bachelor(ette) Party

Chances are at some point in your life you’ll be asked to be an attendee, a host, or a planner of a bachelor(ette) party. Cue “The Hangover” and “Bridesmaids” movies—it’s about to get wild! Ha, just kidding! If we’ve learned anything from those movies, it’s best to avoid the extremes and keep the party simple—that’s right, no tigers.

The New York Times recently released a news article suggesting that “The Hangover” bachelor(ette) party mentality is decreasing due to age, social media, and a newfound respect for responsibility and maturity. Although the wild times might have calmed down, a bachelor(ette) party should still be fun and exciting for the bride and groom-to-be. In the words of Officer Nathan Rhodes from “Bridesmaids” don’t be “the maid of dishonor;” follow our survival tips to plan the ultimate bachelor(ette) party.

Ditch the Hangover

A rule of thumb to pass along to your group/clients is the one-to-one rule! For every alcoholic beverage you consume, drink one glass of water. Water is the miracle elixir that helps you recover from a hangover or a headache. Trust us, the morning after look is not a good look, especially on the rehearsal or wedding day. Keep yourself (and your group) hydrated to guarantee a refreshed look the next day!

We also suggest ditching “The Hangover” theme! Don’t get us wrong, we’re big fans of Las Vegas and think it would make an awesome place to party, but do everyone a favor: avoid losing a friend, getting married, and stealing Mike Tyson’s tiger. What we actually mean is that  bachelor(ette) parties don’t have to fit to a certain model in order to be fun. Interestingly-shaped decor or wild, rendezvous nights aren’t mandatory for the party to be considered successful either.

Venue Matters

When planning a bachelor(ette) party, remember that although your ideas might be great, is it what the bride or groom would enjoy? As a planner, it’s OK to ask the party honorees what they would like to happen or not happen during the event. Our biggest suggestion is to listen and stick to what the bride and groom-to-be say. You’re celebrating with your friend/client, so don’t embarrass them just for the sake of the party. Which is why selecting the perfect venue is highly important.

You wouldn’t drink the night away at a spa or go crazy at a resort would you? Of course not! It’s bachelor(ette) survival 101. Kristen Stanton, an Inspherio user and a successful party planner in North Carolina, suggests that bachelor(ette) planners book venues that offer a mixture of both relaxation and fun. A resort spa makes the obvious choice because the party-goers can enjoy massages and facials, as well as drinks and delicious food options.

Picking the Right Date

Between cake tastings, florist appointments, and last minute dress alterations, penciling in a weekend to party can be tricky. No one wants to celebrate a party too far in advance; it feels too anticlimactic. And hosting a party the day before the big event isn’t the best idea either. Our suggestion is to find the perfect bachelor(ette) party sweet spot, which we think is six weeks to a month before the big day. This timeframe builds excitement for the upcoming nuptials, but it is far enough in advance that nerves aren’t in attendance.

Sensitive to the Budget

Just like a wedding, a budget is one of the most important items to keep in mind when planning a party. Although bachelor(ette) party traditions emphasize the responsibility of the host to pay and cover the party expenses, times are changing. The attendees of the party are now helping and contributing to the event, making sure that everything is equally paid for so the bride/groom can enjoy their night expense free. Of course, with this comes respect and sensitivity to the contribution each person can afford.

As the planner, be mindful of the budget. This is not the only expense that the bridal party is paying, so plan your events and location accordingly. It’s also important to keep in mind that each party is different. An event you host for recent graduates will differ from one you plan for a group with careers and mortgages.

Overscheduling

Let’s face it, months before the event we’re pumped and ready to have the wildest weekend bachelor(ette) party. You plan and schedule activities throughout the entire weekend to keep the party moving. Although we’re supportive of your eager spirit, we want to remind you to schedule down time.

Create buffer zones and times between activities to let the party relax and unwind. Planning a wedding is stressful enough for the bride, the last thing she needs is to be constantly pulled from place to place. Our survival tip is to plan one night that you go all out, and then leave the rest of the weekend open for spontaneity or relaxation. A bachelor(ette) party is a time to celebrate the closing of one chapter and the beginning of a new one, so keep it fun, and keep it classy.

*Side tip: To keep everyone on schedule, we suggest telling people the times for reservations an hour earlier than they actually are.  

A bachelor(ette) party doesn’t have to be wild and crazy, but it has to be fun! What tips do you have to help others survive planning a bachelor(ette) party? Share with us in the comment section below! And if you haven’t tried it yet, sign up for Inspherio free for 30 days. It’s the only event business management solution you’ll ever need—we swear by it.

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