Dealing with Difficult Family Members

 

Artwork credit: The Huffington Post

They are a part of every holiday event; we’re talking in-laws, relatives, and uncontrollable kids. During the holidays, rough relationships with family members cause stressful communications, hesitant gift giving, and hurt feelings. Family members can also hinder your event responsibilities if they become over-involved to the point where you lose control and they take over your event. Don’t panic over any of these tricky family situations, we have life-saving tips to avoid the dreaded family feud.

• Keep calm. With every event or family gathering the pressure is high to perfect every detail and create a memorable event. The stress can cause you to crack under the pressure. If the event doesn’t go exactly as planned, be professional and keep a positive attitude. Remain composed and offer encouragement, whether it be to the cook who just burned the ham or uninvited guests. It will all end soon, so enjoy every moment whether good or bad. 
• It’s not your problem to fix. Attend to the direct problem (bad pictures or a flawed menu), but remain a concerned bystander when it comes to personal issues. When a relative’s deep-seated issues are brought to attention, be an involved listener, but don’t feel responsible to fix those problems in one night, be it messy relationship issues or the attack of the gossip queens, you should stay out of it to keep a grasp on your sanity.
• Know your limits. If kids are running around, don’t scold them unless they are your own children. Even if you have their parent’s permission to reprimand them, let the child know that they need to be on their best behavior rather than waiting for them to test their limits. 
• Let them know your boundaries. You should respect a family’s issues, but at the same time don’t let anyone treat you in a derogatory way. As a professional, if you feel that an individual has crossed a boundary, let the host know and let them handle the outburst.
• Cut your ties. If the situation is physically or verbally inappropriate, step away and break communication completely. If a drunk party-goer is going on a tangent, there is no need to provoke them into a more aggravated state. 

With these tips, we hope you can avoid any unnecessary, uncomfortable, family tension. Above all take this time to enjoy spending time with your family, whether they are difficult or not. Also with the many holiday events, help others celebrate with their families and enjoy this holiday season.

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14 Ways Planning a Wedding is like Planning a Football Game, Part 1

Football season is in full swing now. As someone who works with wedding professionals on a daily basis - and who has worked in both professional and college football in the past - it got me to thinking:

What are some similarities between planning a wedding and planning a football game?

As I started my list, it continued to grow, so I decided to split this post into a two-part series. The following items are the first half of that list. 

1. Evening and weekend work

The hours can be brutal at times. Most of the time you are the first one in the building and the last to leave. You not only put in the time during regular business hours, but you often have to work later in the evening to attend events or accomplish some tasks, some of which cannot be done until off hours.

Wedding Planners
Need to meet the bride and groom for a cake testing or band demo? They have jobs during the day that they can't simply leave, so you have to meet them in the evening or on the weekend. This is not even considering the actual wedding weekend, when you work all day Friday and Saturday.

Football Planners
Let's face it: no football game is going to be during regular work hours. Nearly every college game is on a Saturday, while NFL games are on Sunday. You may occasionally have a Thursday or Friday night game and work late hours just to make sure everything set.

2. Multitasking

Simply put, events are not simple. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of components involved. As the main planner, you are the one that has to make sure everything is done right.

Wedding Planners
Gather client info, meet with vendors, arrange for hotels, go over the guest list, do a site walk-through, meet with the clients again, confirm the correct decor and food, follow up, follow up, follow up.

Football Planners
Send info to teams and officials, coordinate with security, coordinate with marketing and sales, meet with the teams and officials, work with sponsor parties, check the weather report, deal with obnoxious fans, etc.

3. Dealing with ego

You have a lot of big egos to juggle. Everyone thinks their needs/responsibilities are more important/pressing than yours. Sometimes they are right, but many times they are not. Whether you are dealing with brides, vendors, fans, players, or coaches, you have to be patient enough to address their needs without losing your cool.

4. Making sure everyone is on the same page

The nature of events is that there are many moving parts and even more people. Does everybody understand not only their specific responsibilities, but what everyone else is doing, how they fit together, and why?

Wedding Planners
Does the venue know when the DJ is arriving to set up? Does the caterer know about specific food allergies? What's the first dance song? What time do the bride and groom arrive for the ceremony? When and where are photos being taken?

Football Planners
Does the stadium know about each team's walk-through? Are ticketing policies in line with compliance's policies? Which credentials are allowed on the field? Who is the entertainment and when should they be on/off the field?

5. Everyone blames you if anything goes wrong

Sometimes you wonder if this shirt is your work uniform. When something goes wrong - and it eventually will - people automatically look to you to assign blame. After all, a good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem at hand.

6. Nerves/stress

Because of point #5, the stress level is high. In fact, last year Forbes.com listed event planning as the 6th most stressful career out of all careers. And it isn't just the worry about getting blamed if something goes wrong. You also don't want to mess up an extremely memorable moment for a bride and groom or a specific player or coach. The number of eyes that are on you at all times and the volume and variety of tasks you must complete (see point #2) just adds to your burden that much more. 

7. Months of planning for a few weekend hours

This can be simultaneously satisfying and exasperating. You spend months of your life planning, pulling out all the stops, and stressing yourself out to make a perfect event. Then, in a matter of hours, the event is over. On one hand, you think, "All that planning was worth it for a great event." On the other hand, since you typically won't have something tangible to show for your work, you may think, "All that planning for a few hours?" The main takeaway for you is the satisfaction that you (hopefully) put on a fantastic, memorable event that served a lot of people.

Tomorrow we will focus on the second half of our list, many of which have to do with the attendees/crowd.

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Wedding Planners – Stop the Wedding Worries that Keep You Awake at Night

This is a guest post by Sharon Hill at www.BecomeaTopWeddingPlannerBlog.com

As a wedding planner, you’re great at taking away a bride’s wedding stress. But it might mean that you’re now the one with nightmares about possible wedding day catastrophes. You stay awake worried that you’ll forget an important detail, that you won’t get everything done in time, and that you won’t do everything it takes to give your bride her vision of her wedding.

Here are 5 tips that will help reduce your worries so you can start doing your best:

1. Quit trying to keep all the details in your head

First, take the time to note everything you need to do for your next weddings. By getting things out of your head and onto paper or into your computer, you won’t have to keep worrying that you’ll forget something. All the information will be available and easily accessible and you can concentrate on doing your work.

2. Enter all of your appointments and deadlines into a calendar

Once you know what you need to do, schedule the time to get it done and don’t forget to note all of your appointments and meetings in your calendar. Also, schedule reminders to call vendors to verify they are on track with the commitments they promised for your weddings. Keeping an up-to-date, fully detailed calendar will reduce your stress and the possibility that something will fall through the cracks.

3. Take copious notes

Whenever you get a call or have a meeting, immediately record all of the relevant information. If a vendor has made a commitment to you and your bride, send them an email, state your understanding, and confirm their commitment.

4. File all of your information in one place

Whether it’s information about a bride and groom and their wedding vision, vendor information, wedding timelines, meeting notes, emails, contracts, or invoices, everything that has to do with a bride and her wedding should be organized and kept together in one place. This way whenever you get a call or need to do some research, all of the information is at your fingertips.

5. Share with your assistants

Always make sure your staff knows where they can get information when they are assisting you with a wedding. In case the unforeseen happens and you are not available when a bride or vendor needs a question answered, your assistants can step in and cover for you. 


About the Author:

 Sharon Hill is The Wedding Planner Mentor. Sharon has been a wedding and event planner for over 20 years. In 2008 she began mentoring and coaching new wedding planners. She also maintains a blog with tips for marketing and running successful wedding planning businesses and regularly posts answers to questions from new planners. She is the author of the e-book, “Become a Top Wedding Planner – Start a Successful Wedding Planning Business.”
Sharon Hill Social Media: Twitter, Facebook

UPDATE: Check out how Inspherio can help resolve each of these issues in our follow up post.

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